"Blessed be the tie that binds

Our hearts in Christian love"
Hi.  I am Jes.  I am a mother of 5 beautiful children, 2 girls and 3 boys.  I am a Christian, a sister, a daughter, a volunteer, a career woman, and a crocheter.  Sadly, I am including, a soon-to-be ex-wife.  I chose the name of my blog to represent many things in my life and my feelings.  Most of all, it fits what I need most in my life, God.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (New International Version)

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

My marriage wasn't given the best fight from either my husband or myself.  We both got lost in the shuffle of kids, jobs, and life.  I went one direction.  He stayed in the same spot.  Don't get me wrong.  Our marriage didn't start off bad.  However, we did not follow this scripture as we should.


Twelve years ago, I began dating my husband.  He was handsome.  He was funny.  He was a good dad.  (My husband came as a package.  His oldest son is an adult now.)  Those are the reasons I was attracted to him.  Kinda vain I know to list his appearance first.  However, that was my stage (and age) back then.  I was 22.  I was tending bar and working for a large retail corporation.  Most of all, I was lost.


He swept me off my feet.  Then came two perfect little beings.  Our oldest daughter and our oldest son together.  We married after our son was born.  Life began evolving.  I began to go back to church with my 2 children.  I gave up my freedoms for them.  (I wouldn't change that part.)  I accepted a promotion through my retail job.  With 4 moves, several stores behind me, 2 more children, a career change for me, another baby blessing our family, I changed.  I began seeking something I was missing.  God.


At the request of our oldest daughter, we started to attend church regularly as a family.  This lasted about 9 months roughly as a total family.  I realized the impact God made in my life.  Not only mine but also the lives of my children were impacted greatly.  I felt the calling to help more.  I volunteered for different groups within our church.  I helped with my children's class during services.  I volunteered for our youth program.  I found myself loving me again.  Most of all, I felt His love for me.  However, not all good things come with change.  My husband grew more distant the more myself and our children became involved with the church.  He would lash out.  He would shun us for wanting to go to services, especially if there were more than one service or there was a special service.  It was apparent he was not happy with my changes.  I never forced my husband to go with us once he stopped.  God doesn't force His love on anyone.  He will always be waiting, patiently.  That is the great thing about God.  He is everything He said in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.  He is love.

I see that love in all of my children, my mom's eyes, my nephews' smiles.  I feel it in my nieces' hugs, my children's kisses, my mom's encouragement.  God is love.  Most of all, He is the love I need.
So sadly, I will add the soon-to-be ex-wife to my list.  However, I know God will see me through this trying time.  Only with His will, I will prevail.  I will be a mom who will always put her children first.  A mom who will continue to help her children grow a healthy relationship with their dad.  A mom who will continue to teach her children of God's endless love.